It was all downhill from there

First chiild: Is more comfortable in the company of adults than with her peers, as her parents are her first and, for some years, only friends. Shoulders the burden of parental anxiety and expectation, and is thus prone to worry about the future. Is a responsible and capable carer of younger siblings, although at times resents this expectation.

Second child: Lives in the shadow of the first child and, as a middle child, also of the younger sibling. Thus, is highly competitive, and will push the boundaries of decorum in her sense of humour, and the boundaries of safety in her physical activities, in the effort to be recognised as valuable in her own right. Prefers negative attention to no attention at all. Secretly adores and admires first child, and as an older sibling herself, alternately dotes on and resents third child.

Third child: Basks in the adoration of her elder siblings, and revels in the relaxed discipline of her parents. Is naughty and gets away with it because she's cute and her parents are too busy these days to do much about it. Feels no pressure from parents to perform, conform or achieve. Is consequently quick to pick up any skill, and is charming, competent and comfortable in any social setting.

Fourth child: Drools, bites. Thinks normal sibling interaction is being dragged across walls to the tune of "Spider-pig! Spider-pig!"