Heart warbles at friend’s
email. A wattlebird mocks
inadvertently.
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If things here make no sense, if my tenses merge without warning, if my spelling is not what you're used to, if my theology seems to keep contradicting itself, just remember: I'm a genius. Please try to keep up.
2 comments:
Dear Ms Q
I visited again after a long break - like I said I would.
A poetic suggestion of not-inconsiderable arrogance (but your page does invite comments; in writing, even):
Heart warbles at friend’s
email. Inadvertently,
a wattlebird mocks.Gives the 2nd line a pleasing ambiguity, I thought, most pleased with myself. Maybe moreso if punctuation is dispensed with.
We must swap stanzas sometime, properly.
love,
Dr Drew
Ah. Well spotted. Your version works much better. I only put "inadvertently" on the third line because it has 5 syllables... such is my naive facination with five and seven syllable words and sentences. Not much processing goes into these blog poems (notice that umbrella?) but I think I'll keep doing them this way. It forces me to not fret too much (cos, hey, it's a blog, it's supposed to be unprocessed) and actually let stuff go public before it's diva-perfect. Perhaps you might like to try it...? Either way, I always welcome your suggestions. We poets like, most of all, to be the topic of controvershal conversashun.
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